WHAT’S IT ALL FOR?
Anyone else wondering what it’s all for? Are you beginning to question your why? I have had 3 uber successful clients in the past weeks say “I no longer know what it’s all for?”
What I have seen is that during our spiritual awakening process a very common step for many who have been hustlers and operating almost 100% in the masculine (yep that was me) is to start to operate in our feminine. This has happened for both my male and female clients.
This has nothing to do with male / female. This is about the masculine being when we are pushing, doing, driving, hustling!
Your WHY shifts so profoundly. You no longer get joy from the same things, what drove me before was no longer important to me.
The feminine is softer, there we trust more, we flow more, we are in serendipity & synchronicity.
Basically one is suddenly viewing the world through very different eyes.
I went from being driven to being drawn.
It’s a very STRANGE feeling when everything you once knew & felt & and we’re driven by disappears. I felt a little deflated, like where is my mojo gone as I ran on that masculine drive, working 14 hour days 7 days a week for as long as I could remember. I wondered if it would ever come back. I was desperate for it to come back at times.
But at the same time there was another part of me, the ‘new me, the awakened me’ who didn’t know if she ever wanted it back. I wrestled between these 2 parts my hustler self versus my infinite self for a good few years on and off.
Then I would flip back into fear…as I rocked in fetal position scared for the loss of who I was. And a part of you is dying hence why it’s painful, confusing & conflicting. So trust baby, breathe…
These transitions are not always fast. Think about how much de-programming is required.
Remember I had spent the better part of 25 years operating in my masculine hustler mode. It had become a default behavior. It was what I knew. Those daily habits became my identity. My ego had created an identity out of the ‘hustler’ the successful Kirsty, the No 1 realtor, the best selling author, the international speaker…’
And who the fuck was this modern-day medicine woman, breath worker, meditator, drum playing, slow-paced hippie for crying out loud. I had no clue what to do with her most of the time but my higher self kept guiding me to trust my process. I loved this me, the me before labels and constructs but I also feared her. It was scary not working at the pace I had for decades, with a plan and next big goal to march towards. I felt untethered, adrift and I battled with the inner voice who tried to pull me back towards hustling sometimes daily, sometimes weekly eventually annually.
This new me, the me who existed before all the bullshit societal constructs. She had new ways, new ideas, new dreams. They weren’t based on success and money and things she used to value. She was different.
IF YOU CAN RELATE here is what I will say;
* Fight back with that inner voice, the one who is hustling for her worthiness.
* Understand that deprogramming what took decades to build will take more than a minute or a month to full deprogram.
YOU WILL find a balance between the feminine and masculine. Your mojo will come back but the drive will feel different. Its FLOW. You will create from an inner burn, a place of love and wild imaginings like you never could have imagined.
TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. Trust your process, trust your journey, trust your timing, trust your awakening.
Ask yourself the question. Instead of what do I want to build. Ask what do I want to EXPERIENCE? What do I want to EXPERIENCE in life?
Get reacquainted with yourself, withdraw into solitude, eliminate the outside for self-examination time.
I love this ME more than I could put into words and I know that being on the path is hard but the transformation is one from caterpillar to goo (death) to butterfly (re-birth).
Embrace it all and fly dear ones. Trust the you waiting at the end of this process is the you, your meant to be.